my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
