this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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