How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
