I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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