I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
