i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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