my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
