Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
