I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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