You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
