you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
