ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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