have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
