His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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