i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
