dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
