Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
