Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
