almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
