i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize