who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
