every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
