i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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