So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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