Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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