I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
