glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
