I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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