I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
