watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
