I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
