Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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