Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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