im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Randomize
