His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
