I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
