he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
