why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
