tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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