No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
