Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
