I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
