Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
