well you can't waste a boner
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize