I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize