I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My ass is underappreciated
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
