Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You took a bar mat shot.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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