He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
