you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize