Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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