see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize