I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
