The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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