I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
