Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
