bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
