these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
