This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
