She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
