You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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