Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
