that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
