My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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